I had a great weekend full of bad decision making and lots of awkward conversations culminating with the realization that I’m sort of an imperceptive bitch. 

ohhenryd:

thatpunnyguy:

snazziest:

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

Fuck, my tea.
— me approximately an hour after every time I make tea  (via end-area)

alltheprettyones:

3 ways to win a ladies heart

1. Make her food
2. Make her cum
3. Let her nap

#3 is important.

alltheprettyones:

3 ways to win a ladies heart

1. Make her food
2. Make her cum
3. Let her nap

#3 is important.